Whiling away in this heat, it’s oppressive to say the least. Fit for neither man nor beast, and as someone who’s been accused of being a less than flattering example of both, I feel that makes me more than qualified to speak on behalf of both parties in regards to this wretched weather. How fatigued I feel at the very thought of so much as even the slightest flight of fancy, when even the most trifling of pursuits puts me at risk of perspiring through the thinnest of my fine linen suits. No, I’m afraid high society offers me no respite from the relentless swelter of summer, so when one of my associates down at the International Trade Mart, which I founded, clued me in to a new resort nestled in the verdant hills of Horse Mountain (马山) called the Serendipity Inn (风和日丽1号), I took it as a sign.
I immediately called upon my man servant, Smedley, to pack our bags and ready the car. His real name is Frankie Jenkins, but I couldn’t think of anything more uncouth than turning towards the kitchen during a formal dinner, and yelling, “Oh, Frankie!” Oh, we have fun, the two of us.
Getting to the resort was an adventure in itself; with directions I’ll try to make as easy as possible to follow, though I fear the sheer remoteness of this place will make that quite a challenge.
Take the Zhajiasu Expressway to the Huhang Expressway, and then switch to the North Ring Expressway that goes around the city. Take the West Ring until you hit the Hanghui Express Way. Get on the Hanghui Expressway (杭徽高速)and head west past Lin’an (临安) to the Yuqian (於潜) exit. After getting off the expressway and paying a very reasonable toll, the off ramp will dump you into a small town (I’m assuming, Yuqian). At the first intersection take a right. At the next intersection turn right again. You’ll now be heading south on a local road to Tonglu (桐庐) direction. You’ll be on this road for a while. Once you begin to think you’re lost you’ll see a large factory by the name of Ao Xing (奥星) on your right. I mention it because it’s the only noticeable landmark on this nondescript country road. Just past the factory you’ll see a river on your right and a bridge and a sign written Horse Mountain (马山) direction. After crossing this bridge the road will veer to the right and dump you in a small rural village where it looks like the only 2 possible directions to go are straight ahead or to the left. I suggested going straight into town, as I was in dire need of a mint julep, but Old Frankie Jenkins said he knew best and wheeled the car right, around a large, stone cistern, which took us underneath the bridge we just crossed and into an even more rural village than the one I suggested we stop at.
This road will meander along until it ends at another bridge that will take you back across the river you just crossed. Once across, you’ll have the option to go left or right. Go right. The river will once again be on your right-hand side, and off in the short distance you’ll see the dam that spawns it. This dam, as it turns out, was all the landmark my dear Smedley needed as he turned right onto a 3rd bridge, this one is, apparently, distinctive because it’s white, and across the river we went again.
Like the first bridge this one dumps you in a village of dam folk where the road splits, going left or right. Again, you want to go right. In fact, from when you get off the expressway, every turn you’re going to make is to the right. After making this final right, you’ll start your ascent up the mountain. From here just follow the road and pray no one is coming in the opposite direction. The road’s narrow. This road will actually take you across the actual dam before you continue winding your way up the mountain to the inn.
Once reaching the village, finding the Serendipity Inn is easy. It’s the nicest building on the one road that goes through the town, which is more a hamlet really, and fittingly it’s on the right. It’s 2.5 stories tall, and painted a warm, inviting, pastel yellow. It may have had a sign, but to be honest, I was so parched from the journey I needed my dear Smedley to carry me up to the lobby, which proved appropriate when we found out the only room left available was the Honeymoon Suite.
Now normally I’d protest. Sharing a room with the help is simply not an option for a man of my stature and unique proclivities, however, this heat was sapping my desire to impose my will upon the innkeeper, so upon reviewing the room, which had two sleeping areas, a private balcony, and an utterly charming sitting area, I reluctantly relented, and had Smedley go fetch our luggage. There are but 6 guest rooms in total, and 2 of those 6 rooms were designed and decorated specifically for kids. These rooms were painted entirely in sky blue paint and furnished with white toy furniture and matching mosquito netting that wouldn’t appeal to any adult that wasn’t a pedophile trying to lure in his prey. Seriously, check them out, and when you do, make sure you don’t have any psilocybin in your system because you’ll freak out, and not in a good way.
The other rooms, however, were much more tastefully done. These rooms were designed and decorated to appeal to a more mature sense of aesthetic; dark woods, wrought iron chandeliers and linens that have the look and feel of my grandmother’s (good quality, not sexy). Tea candle-lit lanterns are provided in each of the rooms to complement the overall rustic ambience. They’re nice the way I’d imagine the Captain’s Quarters on a Spanish Galleon would be nice. These aren’t standard hotel rooms, each one’s unique, and with the exception of the honeymoon suite a lot of these rooms could easily accommodate 4 – 6 people if you bunked up.
After getting situated in our room, the Innkeepers, an affable husband and wife team from Shanghai, served us tea and took our orders for dinner, which included two choices for dessert; a hot fudge brownie or a cheesecake. We ordered both. After all, we’re on vacation, and in this seclusion, who cares if we splurge a little? Also, it’s pretty much the only game in town so order up lest you go hungry later on at night. The innkeepers told us it would be several hours before dinner would be ready, and encouraged us to take in the reservoir, which truth be told, was Smedley and I’s plan all along, as there is nothing like a cool dip in a mountain reservoir to chase away the vapors.
To make our excursion to the dam lake even more enjoyable, the Serendipity Inn offers their guests inflatable kayaks or, “funyaks,” free of charge, and it’s literally right across the street so you don’t have to worry about transportation. After finding the nearest slip, we launched our craft and went exploring, and by exploring, I mean sunbathing. I had my feet dangling in the water, my body glazed in suntan lotion, and not a care in the world. Smedley, who’s apparently never seen a dragonfly before, occupied his time by taking hundreds of pictures of it. His child-like joy reminded me to horse whip him when we got back home.
After about an hour and a half we headed back to dry land where the buzz amongst the locals revolved entirely around my bronzed, chiseled physique, glistening in the sun. Again, Smedley, proved to be invaluable in safely escorting me back to the inn, where we sidled up to the quaint little bar in the lobby and ordered a quenching jug of cool, refreshing mountain water, and some ice cold brews. The beer was Xihu brand, but it was cold enough that I couldn’t taste it. If you’re a connoisseur like me, I advise you bring a cooler stocked with your favorite tipples, because this establishment, as nice as it is in every other way, wasn’t set up for heavy drinkers. You’ve been warned. BYOB. They’re cool with it.
After a brisk shower, I put on my evening wear and ambled down to meet Smedley in the dining nook. Dinner is done family-style with the owners joining the guests with their delightfully mischievous dog eagerly looking for scraps. Although I usually prefer to dine with only selected company, after such an enjoyable afternoon, I decided to brush elbows with the other guests, and I must admit it was a refreshing change of pace. It really has one consorting with an assorted cast of characters. Back at La Maison de Shaw, I have a lovely, Chippendale dining table and often have a friend over, sitting at one end while I sit at the other. It’s precisely the point of a long dining table. The splendor of the meal adds to the enjoyment of it, but in these environs, where the sounds of the city dissipate into the silent song of nature, communal dining is much more enjoyable.
Also enjoyable was the food. Tender pumpkin slices, tomato and eggs, and a winter melon soup started things off. They were all subtle, tasty, and inoffensive respectively. Following these were two types of ribs, roasted and braised, with the former being quite pleasing, but paling in comparison to the ecstasy that was the latter. A delightful, locally caught, fresh fish and some succulent spicy shrimps rounded out our meal.
After dinner Smedley and I decided to retire to our room with a bottle of wine, and at this point in time, I must confess a weakness for the finer things in life, and wine is one of those things. Were this not the Serendipity Inn’s soft opening I’d be much more cutting in my remarks, but as an international businessman I understand how difficult starting your own business can be. We settled on a chilled, Italian Rosé, as I was in no mood for a dry white after dinner, and the red wine, was, God help me, Great Wall brand. They, the innkeepers, assured us, by the time of their full opening, this problem would be remedied.
After the morning’s journey, and afternoon’s sun-soaked outing, Smedley and I were exhausted and fell asleep shortly after the last drop of wine was drunk. We awoke in the morning to a traditional breakfast of tea, porridge, and fried eggs. Now I’ve never been a porridge man, because I have money, but it was good nonetheless. It would have been better had I not realized at the exact same time I was slurping it down that they forgot to bring us our desserts after dinner last night! No wonder I felt so grumpy in the morning. My sweet tooth had yet to be sated. After a short conversation with the owners, I thanked them for their hospitality, and sent Smedley, with the luggage, to fetch the car. Now knowing the way, our journey home took half the time at just under an hour and a half.
If you’re interested in getting away from it all, it’s harder to get farther away than the Serendipity Inn, but there are a few things to be aware of. First off, this is a family-run establishment, so don’t expect 5-star resort-like service. It’s more of an artist’s retreat, and their very reasonable rates back this up. Though the owners are always warm and accommodating, there are only 2 of them, so pack for your trip the same way you’d pack for a camping trip, with sandwiches, snacks, and drinks. Considering how close it is to both the dam lake and the woods, a cooler full of food and drinks would still be a good idea if you want to go rafting or hiking, unless you want to run back to the inn every time you want something. They also told us, that they’d be hiring more help in the future so service should only get better from here on out.
The Serendipity Inn is also dog friendly, but remember, they have 2 dogs of their own, and the collie rules the roost. She does not take kindly to other alpha dogs, so for the safety and sanity of everyone, keep yours on a short, figurative, leash. Failing that put it on a literal short leash.
As has been stated on numerous occasions throughout this article, we were invited during their soft opening, so there are still a few rough edges to smooth out, but the pros of this place definitely outweigh the cons, and for a weekend in the great outdoors, this place will be hard to beat.
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